A Study by Scott Sperling   Proverbs 5 - The Snare of Sexual Sin 1  My son, pay attention to my wisdom, turn your ear to my words of insight, 2  that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge. 3  For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; 4  but in the end, she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. 5  Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. 6  She gives no thought to the way of life her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it. In this chapter, Solomon warns his student in wisdom, his “son”, of the temptations and dangers of sexual sin. “The primary scope of this chapter is plainly to warn us against seventh-commandment sins, which youth is so prone to, the temptations to which are so violent, the examples of which are so many, and which, where admitted, are so destructive to all the seeds of virtue in the soul” [Henry, 816]. Similar teachings are found elsewhere in the book of Proverbs. “The teacher, in this discourse, recurs to a subject which he has glanced at before in Prov. 2:15-19, and which he again treats of in the latter part of the sixth and in the whole of the seventh chapters. This constant recurrence to the same subject, repulsive on account of its associations, shows, however, the importance which it had in the teacher’s estimation as a ground of warning, and that he ranked it among the foremost of the temptations and sins which called the young off from the pursuit of Wisdom, and so led them astray from ‘the fear of the Lord’” [Pulpit, 106]. “The father addresses this concern with all the rhetorical power that he can muster because the temptation is great. An intimate relationship with a woman outside the bounds of marriage promises great pleasure and satisfaction. The truth behind the appearance, however, is that such liaisons result in tremendous pain” [Longman, 140]. Solomon begins with an exhortation to pay attention to these teachings: “My son, pay attention to my wisdom, turn your ear to my words of insight, that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge” (vss. 1-2). Solomon addresses his words of wisdom to “my son”, as a “robust man-to-man warning against adultery” [McKane, in Waltke, 410]. Such frank teaching, as Solomon gives here, is appropriate, even necessary, for parents, both fathers and mothers, to give their children. Though this chapter is addressed to a young man, and depicts temptation proffered by a licentious woman, we could very well extrapolate Solomon’s advice to warn daughters against lecherous men. “Although the teaching seeks to discipline the awakening sexual awareness of young males, it is a concern for all, young and old, male and female, just as it has been since ancient days” [Koptak, 160]. “While it would be hard to deny that such women did or do exist, most people’s experience today would suggest that males are more often predatory than females. In response, we do well to remember that the book was written to males, and not just to all males but to males who were on the path leading to wisdom. It was not addressed to fools… We suggest that women readers transform the language to suit their context. In other words, instead of a honey-lipped female seducing a male reader, they should read in terms of a sweet- talking male trying to entice them into bed” [Longman, 147]. Note, Solomon says, “Pay attention to my wisdom… to my words of insight” (vs. 1). Solomon personalizes the wisdom to himself by saying “my” wisdom. “It is noteworthy that never elsewhere is the personal possessive pronoun used with ‘wisdom’ and ‘understanding’” [Martin, 47]. Solomon himself, as we learn in I Kings 11:1-13, was susceptible to sexual temptation, and his words of advice in this chapter, may very well have been inspired by personal experience. “The wisdom which Solomon teaches in this chapter cost him dear; but if we attend to his instructions, we shall have them at an easy rate” [Lawson, 96]. In the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon sums up what he had learned: “I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her, but the sinner she will ensnare” (Eccl. 7:26). Solomon’s goal for his son is that he would “maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge”  (vs. 2). Solomon refers to his son’s “lips”, as preserving knowledge here, in contrast to the licentious woman’s “lips” in the next verse, dripping honey. All sexual sin (with the exception of violent rape) begins with a sin of the lips, as they enter into salacious and injudicious dialogue with the other party. Sexual sin requires that there be an intimate connection between the two parties which, at some point, is solidified by intimate conversation. Certainly, all sexual intercourse is preceded by intimate verbal intercourse. “Sexuality is by its nature dialogical, as the term ‘intercourse’ well suggests. Culturally, it is closely associated with speech: courting speech, seductive speech, love songs, whispered sweet nothings” [Newsom, in Waltke, 414]. And so, Solomon’s first words of advice to his son in avoiding sexual sin pertain to the words of his son’s “lips”, that they would “preserve knowledge”, that they would speak only in a wise manner. “Lips which preserve knowledge are such as permit nothing to escape from them which proceeds not from the knowledge of God, and in Him of that which is good and right” [Delitzsch, 119]. If the son heeds this advice, he can avoid sexual sin. Solomon lays out the temptation: “For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end, she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword” (vss. 3-4). What is translated here as “the adulterous woman” is literally “the strange woman” in Hebrew, as per the KJV, implying that she could be any woman other than one’s wife [Garrett, 91]. She could be a prostitute, or another man’s wife, or a woman at your workplace. Solomon characterizes her as a seductive temptress, whose “lips drip honey” and whose “speech is smoother than oil” (vs. 3). Solomon tells it like it is: the temptress is enticing. “The Bible does not hide from or obscure the power of the temptation to illicit sex” [Garrett, 93]. “Honeyed words, and words smoother than oil, are figurative expressions, highly descriptive of the insinuating, enticing, persuasive language of a lewd woman, who artfully employs every blandishment to seduce unsuspecting youth into the vortex of ruin” [Muenscher, 53]. “Her tongue is taught by him who betrayed Eve to paint the vilest sin with the most beautiful colours, and to conceal all its deformity and danger; but it is the part of a reasonable creature to look beyond the present moment, and to consider the end of things, as well as their beginning” [Lawson, 97]. Though the beginning is seductive and enticing, to fall into the temptress’s trap leads to ruin: “But in the end, she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword”  (vs. 4). There is no denial of the immediate pleasure of sexual sin, but the cost is not worth the pleasure. The sweet honey turns to bitter gall. “The flesh promises every delight, but it leaves bitter dregs” [Mercer, in JFB, 426]. “There is no sin which affords so vivid an example of seductive attraction at the beginning, and of hopeless misery at the end, as that of unlawful love” [Horton, 68]. The possible repercussions of sexual sin go beyond merely the bitterness of gall: “Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. She gives no thought to the way of life; her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it” (vss. 5-6). Sexual sin harms both the body and the soul, and can lead to the death of both. “She gives no heed to the course of her life, or to that course of conduct which leads to life, but plunges reckless and headlong into a whirlpool of dissipation and crime, the inevitable result of which is destruction” [Muenscher, 53]. Proverbs 5:7-14 – Avoiding Sexual Sin 7  Now then, my sons, listen to me; do not turn aside from what I say. 8  Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house, 9  lest you lose your honor to others and your dignity to one who is cruel, 10  lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich the house of another. 11  At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent. 12  You will say, “How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction! 13  I would not obey my teachers or turn my ear to my instructors. 14  And I was soon in serious trouble in the assembly of God’s people.” Solomon repeats his exhortation to “listen”, in order to give important advice: “Now then, my sons, listen to me; do not turn aside from what I say. Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house” (vss. 7-8). The best way to avoid sexual sin is to steer clear of the tempter/temptress. Sexual sin is impossible if one heeds this simple advice. Sexual sin is not one that someone just stumbles into. It takes forethought and planning. There are many offramps from that path. And so, do not even “approach the borders of this sin” [Henry, 817]. “The nearer we approach temptation, the more alluring it becomes, and the weaker becomes our spiritual strength” [JFB, 427]. “She and her house are to be avoided as if they were infected with some mortal disease” [Pulpit, 109]. To strengthen his student’s resolve, Solomon lists possible consequences of falling into sexual sin: “…lest you lose your honor to others and your dignity to one who is cruel, lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich the house of another” (vss. 9-10). Sexual sin leads to loss of “honor”, loss of “dignity”, loss of “wealth”, even to the extent that “your toil enriches the house of another.” It is a sin that goes far beyond the immediate act. “The passage uses general language to make the point that adultery leads to personal degeneration and financial depletion. The man who indulges himself will pay the price a hundred times over” [Garrett, 94]. “This sin is a purgatory to the purse, though a paradise to the desires” [Trapp, 17]. Though Solomon speaks here of the loss of material riches, the more important consequence is the loss of spiritual riches. “Every sin is preparing for us a loss of wealth, of the only wealth which is really durable, the treasure in the heavens; every sin is capable of filching from him all the food on which the spirit lives” [Horton, 75]. Invariably, sexual sin leads to bitter regret: “At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent.” (vs. 11). Sexual sin can never be undone. Its effects last a lifetime, even to the point of bringing endless regret, “groaning” at the “end of your life”. Make no mistake, regret will most certainly come. And aging serves to bring on the regret, as the youthful passions wane. One then can see more clearly the tragic consequences of the sexual sin, and that, all- in-all, the dire consequences far outweigh the fleeting benefits. “The sinner shall at last marvel at his own amazing folly in times past; but his remorse shall then be too late… After-wisdom will only add to the bitterness of perdition” [JFB, 427]. The fallen sinner will regret that he did not listen to the wise words of advice: “You will say, ‘How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction! I would not obey my teachers or turn my ear to my instructors. And I was soon in serious trouble in the assembly of God’s people’” (vss. 12-14). We all have plenty of warnings against this sin: the law of God, examples in Scripture, pastor’s sermons, parental advice, warnings by colleagues, social stigmas, etc. The sinner knows well that he had been warned. “He cannot but own that those who had the charge of him, parents, ministers, had done their part; they had been his teachers; they had instructed him, had given him good counsel and fair warning; but to his own shame… he had not taken their counsel” [Henry, 818]. In times past, sexual sin was a violation punishable by law: “And I was soon in serious trouble in the assembly of God’s people” (vs. 14). The adulterer could face serious consequences (see Deut. 22:22-24). This is not the case, by-and-large, these days. Though even in days when sexual sin was not punished by law, there was a social stigma and adverse social consequences to it. But now, even the social stigma of sexual sin has, by-and-large, disappeared. It was a powerful deterrent, but that deterrent is now largely removed. And so, we must all-the-more-so lean on the deterrent found in seeking to always please God, and treating our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit, as Paul exhorted: “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies” (1 Cor. 6:18-20). Proverbs 5:15-20 – The Blessings of Marriage 15  Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. 16  Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? 17  Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. 18  May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19  A loving doe, a graceful deer — may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. 20  Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman? Having provided prohibitions on improper channels for sexual passions, Solomon provides exhortations on approved ways of channeling sexual passions: “Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth” (vss. 15-18). “Against the unholy passion to be shunned is set the holy love to be cherished” [Perowne, 61]. “Enjoy with satisfaction the comforts of lawful marriage, which was ordained for the prevention of uncleanness… Let none complain that God has dealt unkindly with them in forbidding them those pleasures which they have a natural desire of, for he has graciously provided for the regular gratification of them… Solomon here enlarges much upon this, not only prescribing it as an antidote, but urging it as an argument against fornication, that the allowed pleasures of marriage… far transcend all the false forbidden pleasures of unlawful sexual sin” [Henry, 818]. Given that marriage is the only God-sanctioned outlet for sexual passions, there is an implied duty upon marriage partners to satisfy each other in this way. “It is not only allowed us, but commanded us, to be pleasant with our relations; and it particularly becomes yoke-fellows to rejoice together and in each other. Mutual delight is the bond of mutual fidelity” [Henry, 819]. Earlier in the chapter, liquid imagery of “honey” and “oil” were used as an enticement to sexual sin. Here, the liquid imagery of pure spring water is used for the allowable quenching of sexual desire. “The pure, innocent, and chaste nature of such pleasures is appropriately compared with the pure and wholesome waters of the wellspring” [Pulpit, 111]. “In connection with this we must call to mind, in order to feel the full power of the figure, how in antiquity and especially in the East, the possession of a spring was regarded a great and even sacred thing” [Zockler, 79]. Quenching of the sexual desire at home is a blessing to be treasured: “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer — may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman?” (vss. 18-20). There are many people who erroneously think that the Bible does not approve of the physical enjoyment that the sexual act brings, even within marriage. This passage refutes that. Here, sex within marriage is described as an intoxicating blessing: “May here breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love” (vs. 19). “It is highly important to see sexual delight in marriage as God- given” [Kidner, 67]. “In the permitted paths of connubial intimacy and tenderness are to be found raptures more sweet and abiding than those which are vainly promised by the ways of sin” [Horton, 69]. “This cordial love in the married state, will produce pleasures far sweeter than were ever found in unlawful love; and what chiefly recommends them is, that they have no sting attending them, and give no offence to God, our Witness and our Judge” [Lawson, 106]. In contrast to the aftermath of forbidden love, which turns bitter, the result of sex within marriage is God-approved intoxication and satisfaction. Proverbs 5:21-23 – Ultimate Consequences 21  For your ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all your paths. 22  The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them; the cords of their sins hold them fast. 23  For lack of discipline they will die, led astray by their own great folly. Solomon concludes this chapter with the ultimate reason for avoiding sexual sin: “For your ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all your paths” (vs. 21). “The arguments of common sense are undergirded by appeal to Yahweh’s judgment” [Kidner, 68]. Sex outside of marriage is a sin before God, and it is a sin that cannot be hidden from God, no matter the human machinations. God sees all, and more than that, “examines all your paths.” Some imagine God to be a far-distant deity who is unconcerned with the minutiae of our actions. But this is an unbiblical view of God. According to the Bible, God does see, and He does care what each of us do.  “God is no epicurean Divinity, retreating far above mundane affairs in celestial seclusion. He is not indifferent to what goes on in this little world. He is watchful and observant… He looks at each of us, at the smallest of our concerns. It is the property of an infinite mind thus to reach down to the infinitely small, as well as to rise to the infinitely great” [Pulpit, 116]. “The evil-doer can neither elude the all-seeing eye, nor escape from the Almighty hand. Secrecy is the study and the hope of the wicked… A sinner’s chief labour is to hide his sin: and his labour is all lost. Darkness hideth not from God. The Maker of the night is not blinded by its covering” [Arnot, 134]. Given God’s displeasure with sexual sin, it can be a sin unto death: “The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them; the cords of their sins hold them fast. For lack of discipline they will die, led astray by their own great folly” (vss. 22-23). It is a sin that “ensnares”, its cords “hold them fast.”  “It is a sin which men with great difficulty shake off the power of” [Henry, 819]. The ultimate result of being “ensnared” is death: “For lack of discipline they will die” (vs. 23). “Uncleanness is a sin from which, when once men have plunged themselves into it, they very hardly and very rarely recover themselves” [Henry, 820]. Once fallen, the only way to escape death, is through the liberation and forgiveness of Christ. Only through Christ, can we be forgiven, justified and restored, enabling us to lead a life in service to our Lord. “In view of all our guilt, let us seek his mercy in Christ Jesus. For it is a truth consistent with the foregoing, that, if there be repentance and faith, all our sins shall ‘be cast into the depths of the sea’ (Amos 7:19)” [Pulpit, 121].  Bibliography and Suggested Reading  Arnot, William.  Laws from Heaven for Life on Earth - Illustrations from the Book of Proverbs. London: T. Nelson and Sons, 1873. Bridges, Charles.  An Exposition of the Book of Proverbs.  New York:  Robert Carter, 1847. Delitzsch, Franz. Biblical Commentary on the Proverbs of Solomon. Edinburgh: T. & T. Clark, 1874. Durrell, David. Critical Remarks on the Books of Job, Proverbs, Psalms, Ecclesiastes, and Canticles. Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1772. Garrett, Duane A.  Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs (New American Commentary, v. 14).  Broadman Press, 1993. Henry, Matthew.  An Exposition of All the Books of the Old and New Testament.  Vol. III.  London: W. Baynes, 1806. (Originally published in 1710). Horton, R. F.; Nicoll, W. Robertson, ed.  The Book of Proverbs (The Expositor’s Bible). New York: A. C. Armstrong and Son, 1902. Jamieson, R.; Fausset, A. R.; Brown, David.  A Commentary, Critical, Experimental and Practical on the Old and New Testaments, Vol. III - Job to Isaiah.  Philadelphia:  J. B. Lippincott & Co., 1866. Kidner, Derek.  Proverbs: An Introduction and Commentary (Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries).  Downers Grove, IL:  Inter-Varsity Press, 2008.  (Originally published in 1964). Koptak, Paul E.  The NIV Application Commentary:  Proverbs.  Grand Rapids, MI:  Zondervan, 2003. Lawson, George.  Exposition of the Book of Proverbs. Edinburgh:  David Brown, 1821. Longman III, Tremper.  Proverbs (Baker Commentary on the Old Testament:  Wisdom and Psalms).  Grand Rapids, Michigan:  Baker Academic, 2006 (eBook edition 2012, 2015). Martin, George Currie. The New Century Bible: Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and Song of Songs. New York: Oxford University Press, 1908. Muenscher, Joseph. The Book of Proverbs. Gambier, OH: Western Episcopalian Office, 1866. Perowne, T. T.  The Proverbs, with Introduction and Notes.  Cambridge, UK:  University Press, 1899. Spence, Rev. H. D. M., and Joseph S. Exell, editors.  The Pulpit Commentary: Proverbs.  London:  Kegan Paul, Trench, Trübner and Co., Ltd, 1891. Stuart, Moses.  Commentary on the Book of Proverbs. New York:  M. W. Dodd, 1852. Toy, Crawford H. A Critical and Exegetical Commentary on the Book of Proverbs. New York: Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1916. Trapp, John.  Exposition of the Whole Bible. Vol. 3. Originally published in c. 1660. Waltke, Bruce K.  The Book of Proverbs:  Chapters 1-15  (The New International Commentary on the Old Testament).  Grand Rapids, MI:  Eerdmans, 2004. Wardlaw, Ralph.  Lectures on the Book of Proverbs. Edinburgh:  A. Fullarton & Co., 1869. (Originally published in 1844). Wordsworth, Christopher. The Bible with Notes and Introductions. Vol. IV (Job; Psalms; Proverbs; Ecclesiastes and Song of Solomon). London: Rivingtons, 1872. Yoder, Christine Elizabeth.  Proverbs:  Abingdon Old Testament Commentaries.  Nashville, TN:  Abingdon Press, 2009. Zöckler, Dr. Otto.  The Proverbs of Solomon (A Commentary on the Holy Scriptures:  Critical, Doctrinal, and Homiletical, edited by John Peter Lange, D.D.).  New York:  Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1898. -------- Many of these books (those in public domain) can be downloaded free of charge from:  http://www.ClassicChristianLibrary.com